Dear Blazkowich:

(I am adding the boldface selectively into the quotes): “my brain is… looking for answers on what I could’ve changed or try to in future… I am just so exhausted and yet I cannot sleep”-

– I started my first reply to you back on Jan 6 with The Serenity Prayer: “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference“. Your brain will get its much needed rest and sleep when you put the serenity prayer into practice.

“A huge part of me wants her back and a part of me is telling me she isn’t worth it“- she is not worth the suffering you are going through. Plus, your suffering is not helping you, nor is it helping her.

“How can I not give up on love when I got rejected for the same cause that my love was burdening? I hear my friends say it’s because I loved her that much she lost interest or something along the lines”-

– I found the quote I was looking for yesterday, it’s in your original post, and I think it may have the answer you are looking for. Here it is, in her words (the boldfaced): “It started a month ago when she asked for space again and I gave it to her and one day she said she’s unable to handle the relationship, and she feels like this cold evil person who is unable to reciprocate any love“-

-it may be that it is not that you burdened her with your loving attention, but that she has a difficult relationship with her mother or father where either one is guilt tripping her about all that they do for her and how ungrateful (a “cold evil person“) she is, and it’s understandably a burden for her. When you enter the picture, from one point on,  she projected that parent into you. It is very common that people do that (projecting a parent into a romantic partner or a romantic interest), very common.

I hope to read soon that you rested and got a good night sleep!

anita