Hi Anita,

it is rational to listen to the heart, to what it has to say (yet not be ruled by its impulses and immediate needs), because what it has to say has to be part of any rational decision that involves the heart. A rational decision cannot be the right decision unless it takes the heart into serious consideration. – good point wow! I didn’t think of that, honestly thats what gets me into trouble with things sometimes im a bit too rational. its never simple is it Haha!

With regard to not always letting myself experience emotions fully:

I think i kind of mean there comes a point where i’m just like ‘what’s the point moping’ or something like ‘nah ill just leave it, no point making a thing’ even if it did kind of annoy me. its just like ‘we’re all still alive and happy so its fine’ Quite often in situations I just don’t bring it up  and genuinely it just stops bothering me. Although I’m not sure if sometimes it probably should bother me. I think i just think there’s often bigger fish to fry and what i consider important/a big thing maybe isn’t always the same to the people I’m around.

To be honest the biggest things to me that i would really lay it all on the line for are just a few of my family and the farm I pretty much live at, my animals and stuff. I’ve got a really close best friend from this farm who shares a lot of her central values with me. I don’t think anyone could ever get between me and these few things. So anything else ever is just… not AS important to me, because honestly I’ve really had to work hard with this farm and my family and its so special to me, I cant imagine ever really wanting anything else so, why would i get worked up over anything else? That’s i think what i mean, probably sounds really wierd!

And the ‘therapist friend’ thing:
I’m very black and white, like brutally honest i think. i often get mis interpreted as not being intuitive, empathetic or considerate, except from by people like my mother and sister or SUPER close friends who can tell that i am.

I as a kid was really empathatic, could always tell when people said something they didn’t mean, and it used to bother me/ get me in a bit of a flap because i didn’t know what to do with the knowledge that they said they were fine but clearly weren’t. (for example)

i still can tell exactly what people think often. However, i’ve taken the stance that if someone’s clearly not fully divulging how they feel then there’s no use pushing them into it even if i know what they really feel like.

i usually just take whatever they say as the truth, as i feel like acting based on what you think people feel like isn’t always helpful (although i always take into consideration what i really think they feel like even if they dont say anything about it or pretend its not a thing) because if you always go round acting on ‘possible hidden meanings’ then surely people will never end up actually telling you the real truth of their feelings because you just act how they want anyways ?

I dont know, it gets really confusing when people don’t give it to you straight, but i guess not everyone finds it easy to tell it to you how it is. Personally don’t see the point in ‘beating around the bush’ or anything. i just tell it how it is and i suppose some people dont like that, and i certainly come across as a bit harsh at times.

People in general really hate the brutal honesty (but respect it) and therefore may come to me for advice/ help because they know i wont just coddle to them, or they just think that i’m mean. i always try very consciously to word things nicely and i don’t ever rip into people or take a one sided view.

Thank you again,

– Renn 🙂