Dear gresshoppe:

“He seemed to have anger issues… he seemed to have a lot of estrangements in his life. He questioned some of my dearest friends, called a couple of them names (just in front of me)“- if anger issues and estrangements from the people in his life is his pattern, then likely, this pattern will include you yet again: there was already a breakup following a short relationship, and if you get back with him, there will likely be another.

“What bothers me to this day is that it just ended with a big splat and we never even tried to reconnect. That happened to me with my first love, and I regretted not giving him at least one more chance. I just don’t want to have regrets“- can’t undo and redo the past. Better put that old regret, and all regrets, to a final rest. Make the best choices today with the information you have, choices made in  calm state of mind.

“I don’t know if we could have worked through it because we didn’t try. And he recently hinted that he was open to another chance“- back to patterns: if his relationships, romantic and otherwise, were not long-term and stable so far, his relationship with you is likely to be the same.

“I hear you on pleasing parents. My Mom tried to stick her nose in my business on this one“- when this man questioned some of your dearest friends, calling them names, wasn’t he (like your mother) sticking his nose in your business?

“I just wonder if walking it back is wise. But even now, several months later – it felt extraordinary“- if something of his anger issues was evident from the beginning of the short relationship, maybe that was what attracted you to him?

anita