* Dear YOR:

I read your story and I feel badly for your pain. There are significant similarities between your story and that of Arctic07’s, and I am looking forward to read Arctic07’s reply to your story, when she is able, as she too is in pain.

“he was super kind, super nice, just absolutely perfect in all ways… he owed me some money because I paid some of the bills of his apartment even when I was not living there, and he had found another housemate. I did not bother because for me, he was my family member. When asked to transfer it, he transferred 3/4th of the amount and said that he wont transfer everything because he spent that money over visiting me and giving me birthday gifts“-

– What I boldfaced in the above quote shows me that from the beginning of the relationship, although he appeared super kind and perfect in all ways, he was not genuinely these things. It takes a cold, calculating, very unempathetic person to be so petty toward a woman who has been so loving and so generous toward him.

You did your best with him and your father tried too, but your ex-boyfriend was not available to reason.

“I have been a meritorious student throughout. And apart from academics, I am also professionally trained in fine arts. I know how to cook. And I am a very organized person in general. ..Please help me find peace. I feel guilty, maybe I could have adjusted and saved us. Maybe if I kept my mouth shut instead of expressing how I felt, we would have been together. Maybe“-

– May you find peace in knowing, really knowing, that your strong emotions for this man clouded your vision of him. I hope that you realize that you mistook him for someone he was not. I am sure that there were times when his affection for you was genuine, and the best of him shone through, but those times did not indicate who he is long-term.

May your sense of self-worth be based on you being and having been long-term, the loving, caring daughter and sister that you are, and on the hard, long-term work that you put into becoming a meritorious student and professional.. and not on this man’s coldness and unreasonableness.

anita