Yes. I am going through this. Letting him go is so difficult. I have had many painful, hurtful relationships, this one I wanted it to work out so badly. We were not married but I wanted to be married. I really thought this one would work. I look back and I made so many mistakes and decisions in the relationship and now he is gone and most likely with other women as I suspect. It will be a long healing process. I have had to seek medical help. I hate to even admit this online. It is so so so difficult. I miss him terribly and I am doing everything I can to let it go.

Courageous

Sorry to hear you are in so much pain from the breakdown of your relationship, hugs to u….. whatever your husband is saying or doing to put you down is out of his guilt, that’s his problem, he knows he is the one in the wrong and he knows hes hurt you badly by cheating on you, and he wants to make you feel guilty for his actions, please don’t listen to his abuse and harsh words.. again that’s his problems…

I have a friend who is going thru exactly the same thing with her husband, they have been married for 16yrs with 2 young children, they are in their mid 40’s, her husband left her 2wks ago to be with a 22yr old girl, my friend is in so much shock, she didn’t have a clue what was going on, she feels like her world is finish, and her husband is doing exactly the same things by disrespecting her with abusive words,
I totally understand how you feel cause I can see the way my friend is hurting, but please know this is normal, the pain the sleepless nights, the empty feeling, those are all part of the grieving process, you will feel better eventually, take one step at a time, I am going thru a break up too, it hurts but I still have to look after myself and keeping busy and doing things for myself, things I didn’t do when I was in a relationship, because all my precious time was trying to please my ex and forgetting that I have needs too.
I find that just reading a good book, doing my hair and nails and buying a nice outfit and wearing it are ways that makes me feel that little bit better about myself, and im taking each day as it comes, I find it helpful to also look at the relationship for what it really was and not how I wanted it to be, I don’t just look at the good times, I look at the times he didn’t really give a damn if we were happy or not…. those are the stuff thats helping me to move on slowly with my life.

You can do it too, no matter what happens just know you are a beautiful person and deserve to be treated with love and respect, the problem is with your husband and not with you, he is the one who wanted to end the marriage, not you, the grass is not always greener on the other side as some people thinks, if someone truly love and appreciate their relationship they will do everything to fight and make it work, sometimes people just want the easy way out and find something new. Just know it s not your fault, we can love someone but we cant force them to love us back, right now try your best to appreciate you for who you are, take some time off to be with yourself and channel all your energies on taking care of you and loving you.

Take care

Bernadette

Dear Corageous,

I have had the same situation as you did. I am 36 and my ex-wife was cheating on me with her boss. It is amazing how we refuse to believe that our loved mate did that. Our divorce was 1 year ago and I have another relationship now that made me to understand that maybe I was in the wrong relation with the wrong person. As time goes I started to look over my ex with much more criticism. We tend to put ourselves down when it comes to be cheated. But, you know, the one who really suffers the most is the one who does it at the end. Don’t try to hurry. To heal this situation takes time and patience. There are lots os phases that you need to face. It is like losing one member of your family. This is one thing that hurts you in all the deepness, but that later will heal somehow. Don’t lose your hope and focus on caring about yourself and ask for help from the people you trust and really loves you. No one has the ownership of others. Let it go, and don’t blame yourself. The time will give you the wisdom to understand things that at this moment might not be so clear.

Take care.