Dear Anita,

I read Arctic07’s experience, which is much more difficult than mine as they were together for much longer. I feel for her, and I hope she recovers soon.

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. It is difficult to imagine life without him because he is all that I had. He did not like my friends so i had to create distance between my friends. Now I am in a different country, and it takes time to adapt to the culture and make friends, but I am trying. He has a lot of friends, and I have just 1 who stays very far. All of this has let to insomnia, i have not slept properly since the day we separated.

And i cannot deny that i still feel like texting him because he was the only person i had, i feel like saving our relationship in some way. I clearly know that he is not interested in me, and still, I think about him and us. I know this is extremely insane and stupid on my part.

Also, he recently texted my mother to let me know that I shall quickly remove my stuff from his apartment. There are some memories and photos of some very close relatives who are no more, and if it is thrown, I will never forgive myself. Since I dont have friends there, I am having a tough time to collect it. My parents have applied for visa but it will take 2 or 3 months.

The trust I had over love and commitment is broken. I can’t even get angry over him, I loved him so much.

I am wondering if I shall contact him once regarding my things at his apartment, but I am scared that it will affect me mentally and emotionally a lot.