Dear Cosmo:

You shared that you cheated a few times on your now ex-girlfriend. She knew about a few of the cheatings and forgave you, but then you cheated again and told her about it, so to “come clean as I believe she needs to make informed decision“. During the no-contact period that followed, she decided to break up with you. You suspect that she broke up with you because she may have “heard about the rumors” during the no-contact, and that your ex shared about your cheating on social media.

You feel “guilt, shame, remorse, sad“. You saw a psychologist about your feelings and she told you that your cheating is “a behavioral problem” that she doesn’t see that you have deeper issues that need to be addressed, suggested that an open relationship might be the solution to this behavioral problem, and therefore, she saw no need for a second session.

Before I suggest anything, I’d like to ask you: do you believe that (as I understand the psychologist suggested) you cheated on your girlfriend because you are not suited for a monogamous relationship, similarly to other male mammals who, in nature, and by nature, are not monogamous?

anita