Dear Anita,

” I wrote to you: “particularly after reading N’s recent talk, I think that he is deceptive, deceiving himself and those who listen to him.”, and you replied to this quote with: “I agree with this.” This is important for my understanding, that you agree with this point. “

-This is something I have to remind myself, but I do believe and I was reminded when we were together. My thoughts still go back and forth, much less than before but every once in a while I get this thought that he was fixable, but it’s just a thought and I know that is all it is. He is deceptive, especially to himself.

“caring for and listening to a deceptive man… makes the lid over the 3rd eye very heavy, heavier”

-It does, and I was reminded when I saw him again. Seeing him again would remind me again, but there is no point unless to get my stuff eventually or repay him. Just like alcohol and marijuana can rapidly close your third eye, so can N aka; a deceptive person. Now that I make that connection I see part of what kept me with N, a closed third eye why alot of people do drugs, right? He is a drug in this way.

“connecting this to the deception topic, you are talking about continuing to un-identify with deception, removing it from your 3rd eye and from blocking/ interfering with any of your chakras. I want to continue to do the same in my life.”

-Our third eyes are on the same page.

“this is what N has been harping on/ using to make you feel bad…He’s been continuing your father’s abusive work: guilt tripping you, and re-sending you the same (false) accusatory messages.”

-I am proud of my third eye not completely closing for the rest of my life with him. It was open just enough to know it didn’t want to always be close and to be with N, meant to close completely. A major turning point for me was also realizing I wanted an open third eye for my future kids, those exact words didn’t come to my mind but I knew on some level a relationship with him wouldn’t encourage my awake self for a family. I saw myself becoming my mom, with a closed third eye.

-Hopefully instead of there being alot of damage to my heart, done by two men sending it the same message, hopefully instead is a heightened awareness as to what it feels like to have someone close your third eye, so I can steer clear! There is probably a little bit of both, new damage and new awareness.

Seaturtle