Continued:

I just wrote a poem for a friend. I like it (I hope she likes it), so in the spirit of liking it, I’ll write another to.. you guessed whom (if you did), I’ll write it to that person:

I guess you were right all along

I didn’t love you

I loved what I needed you to be, just for me

Not who you were.

I loved the idea of a mother

Not the person that you are, the person you have been

For how could I love or like a person who hated me

I loved the idea of a person (a mother) who liked me

You disliked me in so many ways, thoroughly, inside out

And in turn, I disliked myself, I disliked you, I disliked everyone-

– A great start in life

Not.

And now, as I tie loose ends in my heart and mind

I say to the idea of you: farewell idea.

Left is what’s always been there; that person who disliked me

I can’t change this reality, not retroactively, not in any other way

it just so happened to be this way.

Farewell.

anita