<p>Dear Anita,</p><p>Thanks for your insights. I now understand the relation between my intrusive thoughts and my childhood trauma in a better way. How should I work towards changing/ breaking these thought patterns and resolving the childhood trauma that still causes me so much pain. At times these memories and thoughts lead me to rage fits, where my anger just seems to be like boiling. Even today before writing this post I had one such instance of rumination which led to me getting enraged over him again. I was at home for a few weeks in March-April and I had a few situations with him, so my thoughts have become more frequent since then.</p><p>About the intrusive thoughts, I think they have got better than before. I read an article at the forum itself which gave me the idea that I am safe even in the moments of intrusive thoughts and they are not going to harm me. But, I also think they are manifesting themselves in other ways, directly/indirectly making me more stressed and uptight about the things around me (especially career and studies related) when I already have visible patterns of overworking. There still are moments when I cant help but wallow down in the misery of my thoughts. As my bestfriend put it for me – “you think you need to suffer again and again that’s why you drag yourself back to those thoughts and situations.” My intrusive thoughts at times make me feel more insecure, stressed and even depressed. I honestly feel scared in my heart sometimes when I am obsessing over these thoughts, although their instances have reduced.</p><p>I would like to know your views about both these points, which certainly would be of a great help.</p><p>Thanks,</p><p>Kshitij</p><p> </p><p> </p>