Dear Paradoxy,

My parents and others in the community thought that the physical and emotional abuse we went through was making us stronger and that it would motivate us to become successful, so they believed the abuse was the right course of action because they do not even realize it is abuse and that our emotional health was deteriorating

they think that it is their “abuse” that drove us to our “success”. If that doesn’t show you how oblivious they are to the effects of their actions, Idk what will

Dear Paradoxy, your parents must have suspected that your mental health was deteriorating, if not earlier then when you attempted suicide. They knew you were suffering. But what did your father tell you? That you are stupid for being so weak and sensitive. That you should be tougher.

So he knew that you were suffering, but he believed it was your fault. Because in his eyes, you were not tough enough.

Essentially their ultimate goal is to help us kids become successful and lead a “good” life but their method is just based on emotional cruelty, which they are unaware of.

As I said above, that’s not true. They are aware, perhaps not that they are cruel (because they don’t want to admit it, they rather say that you are weak). But they are aware that you are suffering. You showed it to them. But they don’t care.

Unfortunately, they live in the 21st century, but reject even the most basic findings of the science of human psyche (psychology), which started developing over 150 years ago.

They purposely reject the whole area of mental health – not because they’ve never heard of it, but because they believe it’s bs.

So I am afraid you can’t really call your parents oblivious. It’s more that they purposely ignore your suffering, because they don’t find it important.

the results encouraged them to continue their abuse because we were all scoring very high in exams and getting into prestigious colleges and getting high salary jobs

So that’s their main goal: getting their children into prestigious colleges, which will result in them getting high salary jobs. For them, that’s all that matters. Well, frankly, those are pretty materialistic goals. They put those above love, care, compassion, mercy – the values that Jesus proclaimed.

Jesus was all about love. His most important command was to love:

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:34-35)

Where is your parents’ love and compassion for you, their own child?

Where is the focus on character development (i.e. treasures stored in heaven), which cannot be developed in an atmosphere of emotional abuse?

Psychological health is equivalent to soul health. But your parents completely disregard that part. And yet, they claim to be deeply religious. Where is the “logic” in that? (this would be a question for your father)