Hi Chau

Disappointed, insecure, sad, rejected, grieving, irritated, angry, helpless and lonely. Those are a lot of very understandable feelings because it is such a complicated and challenging time. It must be an intense time for you. It is very big of you to try to stay positive and even consider accepting a continuation of this relationship after these difficulties.

I’m sorry to hear that your partner has hidden the relationship from family (except for one sibling) for 5 and a half years.

You are also concerned that this time is being used to break up. To me, that is a valid concern. Your partner has chosen a rather brutal way to make her decision. What did she say when you asked her about that?

I have a couple of concerns about this situation too. 1) I feel like it is unfairly harsh on you. You are expected to patiently wait around while going through a lot of suffering. 2) I’m not sure about cultural stance regarding being gay or even modern dating practices. In some countries it is illegal and this makes the lives of gay people very difficult, in other countries it is not illegal. In some countries people use breaks to see other people. Was this discussed?

If you think taking the chance that your partner will change her mind is worth the pain of being left on the hook is worth it. That is your decision.

It seems to me that you have already been on the hook waiting for 5 and a half years. You deserve to be with someone who loves you for you and at least acknowledges your presence to people that they are close with.

I think that love is a choice. There have been days where I have fallen out of love when things were difficult. But the choice is made to reconnect and fall in love with a partner, or not. The choice to love someone or not is made every day.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏