Dear Helcat,

“I think it is apt because sea turtles are peaceful, gentle souls, they live to a long age which represents wisdom. They are adventurous and free spirited. You share all of these qualities. “

I like all those things! Thank you 🙂

“You might not feel it and see it as much yet. But since you first message you’ve grown a lot. You’re still the same awesome person, but you are trusting your intuition more and finding your voice. It’s lovely to see. Long may it continue!”

Cheers to this. On my recent trip home I also had some family members tell me similar things. That they see growth happening.

I don’t want this to let me avoid being in another relationship, but I have this new fear that came along with the positive growth, and it is that I will lose myself in a relationship again. But that would have to mean I stop listening to my intuition again, so my solution has been to really get in line with my intuition so I don’t ignore it repetitively, again. Relationships create a barrier between me and my intuition.. I wonder why this is and if it is possible to get my intuition to always be at my forefront.. ?

Anita, I’d also love your thoughts on this!

“Ah well Buddhism has a great deal to say about attachment. I would recommend looking into that side of it as well. I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun.”

I will thanks for the recommendation.

“It is honestly very hard to maintain a warm demeanour in difficult situations especially with people that aren’t necessarily trusted.”

I have an intuition question. When we don’t trust someone, how do we tell if it is because of our own trauma or it is our intuition?

I actually have similar difficulties. For me, it’s the feeling of vulnerability that I don’t like. I feel very soft and squishy during disagreements, easily hurt. I used to think that the only way to protect myself was to emotionally distance myself from the situation.”

This is how I feel in hard conversations with a loved one as well. It’s strange, it’s like there is a part of me that really wants to skip to the end of the conversation and hug. But I cannot accept a hug during the disagreement, I feel repulsed by closeness, but I love closeness so I get irritated that I feel that way. I would get upset with N because he (the situation with him) made me feel repulsed by closeness, yet I knew that is all I really needed/wanted. I think it was this contradiction that was the most painful part, and I wanted out of that space so badly, and so did he, that we didn’t truly finish many disagreements and instead skipped to the end.

“I read something that basically said that if you approach a relationship with negativity it will not heal. Whereas if you approach a relationship with positivity, the person will be inspired by your character and respond in kind. Not entirely true. But that is what ancient Chinese philosophy is like. “

It is certainly optimistic. If only positivity was all it took to heal a relationship.

Did you have a good fourth of July?

Seaturtle