Dear omyk:

You are very welcome. “I have learned that sex signifies something much deeper to me… I want to reserve it for deep love shared in a committed relationship“- I admire you for this!

“I try to be conscious about avoiding acting in an overbearing way with my own child“- another thing to admire about you!

“A huge part of my upbringing was constantly obtaining approval of elders… I have been shaped to act in ways that others approve of – even if they’re not hear to signal their approval!“- the elders took hold of part of your brain and their mental representatives are talking to you. It happens to everyone. The inner critic is the part of the brain that replays a parent’s/ elder’s criticisms and even expands on it.

“I’m working on that right now. It is really hard work to unlearn and then learn a new way of thinking!”– it is indeed hard work and it’s another thing to admire about you!

To unlearn the input of the inner critic, when its input is or may be wrong, harsh and punishing, it takes challenging the input, shining the light of truth into it (is it true? Is it false? In what context?). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is about such challenging.

anita