Dear Clara:

“I decided to go for the gym, had some cardio and some strength training as well to get some happy hormones before I came back. I was a bit scared before I came back. I was afraid to see her stuff around“- working out at the gym didn’t make your fear go away, but it gave you courage to face the situation you were afraid of (being back home and seeing her stuff while she’s gone).

“She left a paper cup in here… she left something here and there… I have finally accepted that she really is this careless/ carefree person“- you need a partner in your life who is naturally more attentive, more attentive to your needs, wants and preferences.

“and honestly, it probably because it doesn’t matter to me that much anymore so I feel ok“- a bit of anger, a bit of resignation..?

“she also said she genuinely believed my ex grew up so much these few years, and she said it was because of me“- we all want to have a positive impact on the ones we love.

“I think another think that contributed to me feeling better, was I saw a video on grief… I cannot just disregard grief… she is still going to be everywhere: the supermarket we went, the place we travelled…“- grieving love lost. Not person lost: person is still around, but the love is gone.

“I think within one week, I think I have progressed well. I didn’t beg, didn’t ask for reconsideration, nothing too dramatic except for day 1 or 2. I just need to get used being alone now“- I think that you have been progressing very well. I am glad that you didn’t beg!

“Re adoption, I am considering to foster care these animals first, I think instead of committing to an animal while I didn’t raise any before… who knows if I wont officially adopt it if we get along?“- excellent, logical and reasonable plan. It can apply to romantic relationships as well: get to know a person very well before committing to an official relationship.

anita