Dear Dylan:

As I read your post, I thought to myself: what an empathetic, thoughtful and kind person you are! (so I figured I’ll type out my thought).

“When I met her, her Dad’s contact on her phone was blocked. Not even a year before, her parents got divorced… Until she met me and we started dating, she didn’t believe in love because her parents were never in love (arranged marriage) and it was very tough on her mother… Her mother’s siblings all have complicated relationships with their spouses too“-  witnessing her parents’ marriage (and others’) left a bad taste in her mouth, so to speak. It makes sense that to prevent marriage, she’d fall out of love. It makes sense that she has trouble committing to a relationship that may lead to marriage.

“What I really want to know is this: what can I do to ensure that she never has to ‘fall out of love’ again? I had an excellent three years but I also don’t want to be with someone who isn’t ready to commit, so I am not going to try and convince her to come back or anything. I just want her to experience true love like we had but the next time, she stays in love.“- no one can ensure that she never falls out of love again. Quality psychotherapy can help her recognize and process her different feelings about her parents’ divorce, about her mother and about her father. following that, she may be able to have a healthy, committed relationship/ marriage.

anita