Hi Taylor

The basic principles of dating is that people are on their “best” behaviour when you meet them. Quite often you actually get to know the real person later on.

Dating is ultimately a long process of getting to know someone. You never truly know someone until you live with them and go through an immense amount of stress together.

There is a level of emotional guarding that a lot of people have that you simply don’t. This person was never great like you imagined he was.

Understanding that and working with a therapist to learn to manage your boundaries is how to resolve the issue.

You have an idealised version of your partner initially in your head. And you are surprised when their behaviour changes. Behaviour always changes. Expect it. Be cynical. Compare actions to words. Get to know the real people. Everyone has their own unique difficulties even the best people.

Learning to be less reactive to difficulties in relationships could be helpful to you. When you notice yourself being triggered by someone pulling back practice emotional regulation skills. Do something to comfort yourself. Speak to a caring friend. Don’t look for comfort from some guy you barely know who is distancing themselves from you.

Unfortunately, dating is hard.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏