Hi Halcyon Musings,

Hiding from myself in friends is exactly right. Or trying to anyway, since I don’t have any friends around. I really never did this before, so I must really be hurting or escaping. In the past, I’d hole up and figure myself out and then usually take a trip somewhere or move somewhere new and find my problems still with me because I was doing something based on what I hoped to get instead of just being inspired from who I was then.

You said you had to give up the hiding from yourself in people who only mirrored your good traits. How did you do that? Did you just take a break from finding a distraction when stuff came up? And do you think you could’ve done the growing with the friends around?

I think social media and especially Facebook, are making things more difficult this time around. It’s very easy for me to get caught up in what others are doing. I over-think everything, which gets me even more into my head with making comparisons. He’s hidden from my Facebook feed, but we have some mutual friends from long ago and he’s always liking what I post or what they post. I hate to put any energy into the person I’m trying to get over, but I never know what his intentions are which keeps me, as an over-thinker, working full time trying to figure this all out.

I think I just have to let go of all my thoughts, anticipations, anxieties, and control of any sort. Drop it all. Just work on continuously dropping it all. Beginner’s Mind.

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement and for sharing your stories. It all really helps.