Hey you guys. I’m not a religious person but if one wanted to label me as “something” I would say that I am a christian rastafarian. I say Jah and equate it to the most highest form of love and tenderness. You’ll see that I say it in what I actually just wrote just a few days ago that parallels with what you both are going through. I’m going to copy and paste it exactly as I wrote it so please bare with me and look into what I’m saying. I’m not saying that this will necessarily “fix” whats going on but perhaps better serve as a “compass” to maybe point you in the right direction. Peace and Divine Love to you both! <3

It’s entitled:

Exploding Ketchup Packet is to Art as Anger is to Inspire. The starter map to treasure!

“Inspire people with love by first loving yourself.”

I think there’s a beautiful peace of mind there when you choose to work on loving, appreciating, and accepting your true self. Of course this is a lot easier said than done. I started with myself with doing one thing at a time where one small action blossomed into big change! I first started by being mindful of what I LIKED about myself and had accomplished instead of what I didn’t and just focused on that every day. I still do it! You’ll immediately start to notice that there is a wealth of spiritual fruit you will be able eat that comes with this peace of mind and will eventually help make you healthy! Sweet fruit like:

Positive thoughts
Positive attitude
Diminished feelings of envy and jealousy

The last bullet above is a HUGE life changer if you are able to recognize and shine light on those two things where they are safely tucked away deep in your mind. It definitely was for me once I was honest about it.Sometimes I literally felt this in my belly…just uncomfortable to see little kids skate better than me!! UGH! When/If you choose to do your life work directed and dedicated toward a positive attitude with positive thoughts, you will gain motivation to do things from love for yourself (not quitting or giving up on yourself) instead of from anger or resentment towards another ( trying to prove something to them or to be accepted). I used to do that a lot when I was younger but was never really satisfied in my accomplishments. I needed something more. I did not know I was actually neglecting my true self..essentially starving myself to death.

EDIT: You will not have a lot of physical energy in your body if you don’t eat and drink water. This is a natural occurrence for humans. The same goes for your spirit body; if this is not fed, then your body (physical reality) will eventually follow and will also be unhealthy.

Although this is a very personal and intimate journey, it’s a great adventure! At first it seemed difficult for me, but if you’re not afraid of hard work and have a” child-like” curiosity about yourself, you will naturally grow to become very patient with yourself and eventually others, thus making your own journey, which doesn’t really end, much easier as you will want to share with others on their journey in unity. (I call that spiritual nudity! Lets all get naked Haha!)

From this work process over time you will notice inside you a “level up” to what I like to call “real success” for your life; kind of like Dragon Ball Z when you’ll get closer and closer to your ultimate form but it takes 57,987 episodes to get there! LOL! (this is actually the same idea they use in martial arts with the colored belts). It takes a lot of time and effort but in the meantime, while you’re practicing, loving yourself, thinking positively, and behaving with a positive attitude, Jah will provide even more nutritious spiritual food for the road like:

self confidence ( “Why yes I really can do this!” What was I so afraid of?)

self worth (I need this job so I can’t allow you to treat me this way because I love myself too.)

Empathy and Compassion ( I kicked you down…I’m sorry…let me help you back up.)

Responsibility ( I really don’t want to do this, but I’m learning to love myself so I’ll do it anyway because this spiritual food is so GOOD! MmMm!)

Humility (I know I messed up and i know that I was wrong so I will try better. I’m sorry.) this compliments the above

Purpose ( Now I know which way to go! Let’s live! <3)

The ” ultimate form” that actively loving yourself will get you closer and closer to is mental freedom…actual true freedom to just be yourself lovingly and peacefully with no shame! It’s what Bob Marley was talking about in his song:

“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.”

-Bob Marley RIP

In learning to love yourself, you will come to experience for yourself that you are no longer held captive by mental slavery. No more being bound by competing with others, having doubts, or feeling like your life has no value. No more being beaten to death by insecurity, anger, and selfish pride. You’re becoming free but don’t quit yet!

This self love serves as an effective guide on our life journey and will offer us inner peace as our positive thoughts and attitudes will only see/perceive problems as opportunities for inner growth. (This is how I deal with shitty jobs and other distasteful situations and able to remain at peace on the inside.) I feel this is probably what most of the Bible is about ( or any religious thing)…working out our own salvation through Christ mindedness (love and peace). What do you think?

“Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”
-Gandhi

Once you realize this new found freedom, feeling as good as it does, you will want so bad to take good care of it while you have it; fighting diligently to keep it and not being irresponsible with it. (I learned to think of freedom this way when I got animals.) Try not to become too comfortable and forget about it though; be disciplined mindfully through prayer/meditation/giving thanks and whatever you do with focus ( I skate,do music, and pray) or you’ll be tossed right back into that slavery very quickly!

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1Peter 5:8

Don’t stop learning! Let’s face it now we’re all human. That old person/mentality/conduct always seem to come back stronger than before at points of weakness and the life journey will be bumped off track but don’t worry that’s okay. Jah makes it bearable so you can get back up and keep on truckin! :

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” Corinthians 10:13

Our life “work experience” benefits everyone by what we actually do with heart, not just by what we know and do in vain. The resume of our journey will literally be overfilled with so much wisdom and truth of how powerful true success and true freedom really are that we will all be effortlessly able inspire people and change our own lives for the better. It has to start somewhere with making the choice of loving yourself first.

Ashe.Selah

Chris The Pusher

I really hope that this not only gives you some ways to try to “fix” things but more importantly ask yourself better questions about yourself. Jah bless and peace to one and all! <3

• This reply was modified 10 years, 9 months ago by Chris.

I had a very similar experience. After running into some trouble at work I was referred to a counselor who specialized in learning disorders. After lots of charts and questionnaires and such I was diagnosed with ADD. So far I haven’t dealt with it chemically but I made a lot of life style changes that helped. For instance, I learned to remove myself from situations that trigger symptoms whenever possible. I’ve also worked out better ways of communicating with my girl and systems for getting things to work out pretty good most of the time as opposed to perfect all of the time. Most importantly, I had some really supportive people in my life who I was able to bounce ideas off of or occasionally explode at.
Maybe that all does sound a bit hokey. I probably wouldn’t have believed it a few years ago because most self help is pretty dumb. Improvement is hard… Really, really, really hard. We can give you suggestions, diagnoses and lists of top tens or top twenties or top thousand strategies for success but in the end improvement is just the result of patience, trial and error and even more trial and error. So don’t be too hard on yourself. You might be selfish and greedy and temperamental sometimes but at the most basic level you are probably an ok person. I’m guessing that you haven’t purposefully hurt any small animals or stolen candy from babies and you probably even recycle. Maybe exercise and yoga just aren’t your bag, maybe you’ll always have a bit of a temper but you’ll just have to accept that you will never be exactly perfect and that you’re mostly all right anyway. Once you stop getting frustrated with yourself on top of getting frustrated with whatever is ruining your day, things will get much easier.
So yeah, if you can manage it, try to get in touch with a professional. Remember not to spiral too much if a certain form of positivity isn’t doing it for you. There’s more things to try out and you’re still young.
Peace!

I had never considered ADD either…going to definitely do some research.

Adrian, I’m the same way in that after my frustration subsides, I can see the situation completely clearly and calmly and I am completely self-aware. Even when I’m in the middle of an “attack” I can hear this voice in the back of my head going “You’re being irrational, in five minutes when this is over you’re going to feel like shit, just stop.”…but I can’t stop. It’s literally like there’s a monster taking over. I’m shocked at some of the things I say to my boyfriend when I’m freaking out. It’s so NOT from me…it’s not me saying it. Argh.

Being cooped up in my apartment alone for two days due to the inclement weather hasn’t helped my anxiety or frustration much 😉

That really does hit home! I feel like when I’m in that place where the negativity is ruling me, that’s ALL I can think of. My brain won’t allow anything else in. Just the focus on the problem or situation.

Now to decide if I feel like going through another hundred doctors to get some kind of help for this problem. :-/ I feel like I’ve seen every psychiatrist and psychologist in my area looking for some kind of relief or help and every single one tells me something different and I have yet to experience any relief!

Hope you have a great Valentine’s day with your man! 🙂