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how long will my freedom from emotions last?

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  • March 17, 2014 at 9:29 am #52873
    Archie
    Participant

    Hello,
    Ever since I joined this forum, I always look forward to explore it further. It’s good to know what people in this world feel, what their lives are, and the knowledge that they are no different from me. I always have been a social outcast, by choice though. I like to stay alone, but I don’t feel lonely ever. If not on my own, I like to spend time with my family because of the unconditional love we have for each other. But there is one thing about myself that I doubt about. Call me a cynic but I have this theory- the more you expect, the more you tend to get hurt. This has effects on the relationships I have with people. I mean I like to meet new people, but I don’t strive upon those relationships. People I know expect me to trust them, as they themselves trust me. But somehow I can’t trust people even if I know they are telling the truth. I care for people, their lives but I see them more as mere experiences. This is perhaps the reason why I have had good friends, but never a best friend- not that I need one. I am 20, and have a lot to see in life. But however I may like to individualize myself, I am aware that for once I will have to open up myself and let go of this guard that I wear all the time. The problem is, I can’t imagine myself as that sort of a person. Right now, I am comfortable with myself- I have dreams, goals that I want to fulfil- and I don’t want an unnecessary baggage of expectations that someone else might have for me. But somewhere deep inside my heart, there’s a voice that always tells me that this side of me may not last forever. I just don’t know if I would be able to accept that emotional self when it chooses to appear.

    March 17, 2014 at 9:54 am #52875
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    Hello Archie!

    Could it be that you’re intellectually mature enough and aware of yourself and your surroundings, but since real confidence comes with experience, it leads to a situation where you’re not quite that confident yet in your assessment of other people (and how to handle the situations), but you are still aware of the potential threats? You have to trust yourself to be able to really trust other people, and you’re still growing into being you. Trust takes time to develop. The more you are true to yourself, the more you trust yourself and the more confident you become. But it also requires exposure to other people and different kinds of events. So give it time and be patient.

    I disagree a bit with your theory. You can have high expectations, but they should also be based on reality and you shouldn’t be terribly invested in the outcome. What is reasonable to expect also comes with experience. That said, I know that some people are naturally cynical. I’m not one of them and I’ve never really understood why anyone would be, but that doesn’t mean that it’s “wrong”. Then again, aren’t cynical people always expecting the worst to happen, so if you expect the worst and you end up getting hurt, then there might be a connection there as well 😉

    Regardless, even if you do end up getting hurt, it’s not the end of the world. Our inbuilt defense mechanism might tell us that we’ll die if we are rejected by other people, but that’s not going to happen. It is painful, but there are also ways to deal with pain and move on.

    March 17, 2014 at 10:23 am #52877
    Archie
    Participant

    Thanks. You are absolutely correct in saying that expectations should be real enough to actually give an outcome. I guess I have never let anyone to come close enough to make me expect something out of them. And this has made me strong enough to not break down emotionally. For that matter, I have never experienced an emotion so overpowering which can sway me away.

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