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@Jasmine-3Hi Elliedodge – you are just amazing ! So much positivity and love in your words :). I will be looking forward to more of your contributions as I think you have a lot to give and teach. Thank you sooooooo much.
Hi Zita
I would like to encourage you to write the letter that Elliedodge talks about in her post. You seem like a highly intellectual being – this trait can work for us but it can also work against us. I think the trick now will be to go past your intelligent brain and think from your heart. Writing a letter should help you (pls do not type as it is not the same thing). Even outliers of any research can teach us a lot. What we need is an open mind.
Elliedodge talks about that abusers are unlikely to ask for forgiveness or need to be told about self compassion (as they only think about themselves). I used to think in a similar fashion in the past too. But hey, as our consciousness grows, we get to understand that there are only different perspectives in this world. Everyone is correct in their own right as they do what they feel is right. You did what you thought was correct by being part of such a relationship although your family didn’t think so. Your ex did what he did as he thought that was the right thing to do. You are holding on to pain as you feel somewhere in your being that it is the right thing to do ( although you want to let go but you are not able to as some part of yours think it is correct to continue that behaviour). See what I mean ? As our consciousness increases, many such questions become clear and easy.
I know what the ruminant @theruminant is talking about. Forgiveness is not outside. Forgiveness is a within phenomenon. You are NOT really angry with your ex as you saw the red flags in the relationship from the beginning. You are angry with yourself for allowing him to have such a bad impact on your being. So who needs the forgiveness? Not him but YOU. If your ex realises in the future what he has done, he may feel guilty and get upset. Who will need the forgiveness then ? HIM – he will need to forgive himself as he will be feeling the pain then. But hey, this might be a little too much too early for you so don’t stress at present.
I have gone through some material, which is specific to your needs and I attach the links below.
1. It is a short dialogue between a spiritual teacher who hails from India and a TV presenter on forgiveness (particularly for your situation). If she resonates with you, you can check out her other series and learn a lot. I was introduced to her videos from a colleague at work few years back and I have not looked back since. I have never met the lady though but would love to some day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua7mTQz_g30
2. Heart chakra meditation – all you have do is close your eyes and let the sounds do its work. It is short and awesome. Helps much more if you can do it everyday until you feel that your mind is not racing like a wild horse.
3. Short and calming description of meditation from Eckhart Tolles free TV. The energy is high and should calm you.
4. Short description on forgiveness from Eckhart Tolle and Michael Brown. Short enough to read but profound enough to think about for days.
Happy to take your questions if you have any. I know very well that you will be fine soonish and how do I know that – my higher self tells me that and my higher self has never been wrong so far 😉
Blessings and loads of smiles,
Jasmine
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 