Hey @Jasmine-3 I wanted to follow back up with you because you seem so genuine in your responses I also see your post to others and I really admire the perspective you put toward things. I did finally talk back to the guy I was telling you about he called me talking about how much he missed me and missed talking to me and it just seemed to him that I wasnt gonna ever call him or answer but we had a great conversation. He stated how he loves me and wanted to know if we could try again at whatever it was we had started. I told him I wasn’t sure but of course we could try I guess b/c honestly my heart still desired him and I couldnt shake him from my mind no matter how much I tried. So we talked for about three days and I went over to his place and unfortunately fell for the temptation of lust. I was upset with myself b/c I was going good and stated to him I was trying to save myself for my husband but when I am around him its hard for he and I to resist each other so its best we meet up outside the house but I did want him badly but felt like I gave in to soon yet again. I recently accepted a job offer in another city which is 5 hours away and he even stated he would come see me on the weekends but I knew that was a long shot anyway. He even asked me if I wanted to go on a cruise with him and his family next year and I said that sounded great but in the back of my mind knew it was all a long shot, plus his family and I have been knowing each other since I was in high school his cousin and I are pretty much best buds so I figured it could work maybe if the occasion really came to past.

I wanted to write you immediately and tell you how siked I was to hear from him despite me trying my hardest to move forward, but I also kept telling myself Angela take your time dont put no feelings in to quick cause actions speaks louder than words.

So as quickly as things came was as quickly as it ended. He had a rough day one day and informed me he would call me back so I was like ok. The call never came and I even called him but no answer this was before midnight that same day. So I got upset b/c Im like I understand he had a rough day but he is on the road ( he is a truck driver) and I knew he had a long distance to drive so I knew he was up. I started to feel some kind of way b/c I was like why hasnt he called me back yet, I kept saying he had a bad day so maybe he just needed time to release his frustrations but my mind would say but thats no excuse to at least call and say something he just not into you like his mouth says. So the night turned into the wee hours of the morning and I was on the phone with a friend girl of mines b/c there were some police activity going on around her house and she called me about it. So then about 4am while Im on the phone he calls so I was a little agg b/c again I felt like I guess he calling when its convenient for him and I despise that. So I answered and told him that I was on the phone and he seem a little funny but i was really just agg and kinda wanted him to know that. So I hung up with my friend and called him back within minutes. He asked me what was wrong and I tried my best to not weigh my feelings in my voice or on my shoulders but I felt like I should be able to tell him how I feel. I then proceed to tell him I was wondering what happened plus on the fact I called him, I do be concerned about him on the road so late. I then tell him how I feel he does things when its convenient for him and he stated he needed to clear his head and thought about the fact he didnt call me thats why he called cause he know I can be up pretty early in the day. I said I understand that but I feel like he does things without taking my feelings into consideration and I try to respect the fact he had a long day. He then says Man maybe I shouldn’t have called shucks if I would have known I was going to get chewed out then I wouldnt have called. he made me upset with saying those things cause I told him I was just telling him I how I was feeling thats all. So he then gets angry at me and says he wasnt going to bother me again and for me to do me and hung the phone up in my face. I texted him about an hour later stating to be safe on the road and that wasnt my intentions to get him upset only to tell him how I was feeling regardless if that was his intentions or not. He never replied back. I called him the next night b/c I didnt want to play these games but his phone vm came on and I left a message I later texted him saying guess you didnt get my vm but I wont bother him anymore I promise. I said you really take things how you want yet others cant. Sorry Jasmine for the long winded post but I wanted to give you a clear pic of what happened. I just dont know what I did wrong and I dont want to allow my own emotions to take over the situation when I tried to consider his end also. I feel like I wasted my time all over again and didnt resist the temptation all over again. I will not call him but wanted your opinion of why I couldn’t just let my feelings simmer instead of feeling like its my right to state how I feel.