you are so brave! If you can just know your a spiritual warrior and there are many out there living with this too: ) I also know those thoughts can be so terrible! After my husband and I married I had horrid thoughts that I would stab him.I would burst into tears cause i loved him why would i have these thoughts? I was afraid to hold a knife. I know it sounds awful to someone who doesn’t have intrusive ocd thoughts. But the key is know they are only thoughts. They wont happen. I have found that my ocd is always there but I can call it know for what it is. I also will use humor. When a sick image comes up no mater how awful, perverted dark and distorted i just look at it and even try to make a comedy out of it. Wow my ocd is really creative today. It sort of takes that fear away. But it takes practice.
Not sure if you have seen the secret? I really liked that movie.
also meditation. If you can find someone to teach you? or a local place to learn?
ekart tolle the power of Now also a great read: )