Hi Julie, sorry you are going through this it sounds horrible. I myself had a panic attack the other morning, it was singularly the most awful feeling, I thought I was having a heart attack.

I am no expert, but I did discuss with a friend who is a psychologist specialising in anxiety when that happened to me. she advised me to practice deep breathing (which I’m sure you are doing), getting outside, exercising, all those things. But I think in your situation it sounds like its ruining your day to day existence and in that case I’d think you need to seek more specialist help. All I know is that anxiety IS debilitating, so don’t get stuck going down the road of thinking that you are weird or sick, you are not. anxiety is the body’s natural response to fear, so its important to address the fear and get help to do so. This isn’t you, people struggle with this all the time. And crying is OK too, you are having a hard time, you need to let it out.

On a short term/practical note can you try to not be home alone so much? go for a walk in the park, sit in a coffee shop, etc? Mindfulness and reading will be a help but it does sound to me like you need a bit more than that just now.

I hope this is of some help.

The best treatment for this is Cognitiv
e Behavioral therapy. They might try to have you gradually. rxpose yourself to these thoughts for a prolonged period and guess what? The anxiety peaks and goes away. Without the feat to drive them the thoughts also go away. Fighting the thoughts makes them worse

Hi,
I was diagnosed with OCD and intrusive thinking by a psychologist. Its actually PURE O. It sounds very similar to what you are describing. I was 24 when I got my first anxiety attack. Then from there my thoughts became dark and intrusive. They were the worst thoughts as if my mind was playing out horror movies at the most inappropriate times. It would show me things that were as if i was possessed by some dark energy. Same thing you mentioned, thoughts of hurting people I loved or very scary thoughts of bad things happening to my loved ones.I was terrified.I thought I was insane. I quit my job which I really enjoyed and started noticing I could not leave my house as easy as before for fear I would pass out while driving or faint at work.
It took me three months to get help. I was told I should be medicated, but I refused. I felt like there was a deep spiritual shift happening in me. I had gotten married about three months prior to my first anxiety attack. Little did i know I was facing my biggest fear in life. I wanted more then anything to feel like i could be loved and that I would not be abandoned. Unfortunately on a very deep level I had some very deep abandonment issues from my father that completely surfaced and triggered OCD. I have worked on this now for almost 4 years. I have committed myself to learning about who I am and how to find balance again. I am still married and happy. My OCD has become my friend, I know it sounds crazy. At one point it ruled my life. It was as if my mind was all powerful, Its not. Your awareness of the mind is all powerful and where we choose to direct our awareness.You are the indwelling being of this body. You are not the mind. The mind is a computer for the body. It generates thoughts based on what it learned and experienced. You are the witness behind the mind. The one who listens to the thoughts and can react to them if you choose, You can give the mind power by focusing your attantion on the thought and then instiling it with energy or belife. call that awareness what you want a soul, spirit whatever. You are not bad. You are not your thoughts. You are more then that. You are the awareness of the thoughts.Even if they are dark and scary do not judge them because they are just thoughts nothing more. Like clouds that pass by in the sky and you are aware of them. I feel so deeply for you and have so much compassion and empathy because I have experience the terror of intrusive thinking. But my friend there are so many wonderful tools out there to help you learn about your OCD. It can actually become your friend if you can see it not as your enemy, but as your teacher. There is a book that changed my life and helped me deal with this and its called the Untethered Soul by Michel Singer. his book changed my life. Please if you like reading get this book and study it. There is gold to be found in this book. Your mind is simply out of balance. I say simply which may sound insensitive but I know you can find peace within the storm of your mind. I became a hypnotherapist because i wanted to help others who suffer with anxiety and an active stressed mind. I highly recommend hypnotherapy and diet! research healthy eating if you dont already. I know b complex is something to research. and gotu kola.
Peace and Light to you

Hi Libby,
I have gone through what you are describing. I also had horrible thoughts…basically the worst possible thoughts I could think of. When I came across a thought that was bad, I’d have another that was worse until I got to the worst, worst, worst possible thought known to mankind. Scared the sh** out of me. I couldn’t even eat…I’d have to drink lots of water with my food just to get the food to go down. This lasted about two-weeks (with the worst thought)…I couldn’t sleep & was getting pretty delirious. I was in counseling at the time & the talking didn’t help alone. I was prescribed anti-depressants & this saved me. It took about a week until I felt normal again. Once free from that experience I find it relatively easy to not go there again. I am still on anti-depressants & its been several years. I know it is hard to tell anyone the exact thoughts you are having (because of how unacceptable they are to you) and remember…you don’t have to tell anyone specifically what those thoughts are. You are not alone. You will get past this and you will not act out those thoughts.

you are so brave! If you can just know your a spiritual warrior and there are many out there living with this too: ) I also know those thoughts can be so terrible! After my husband and I married I had horrid thoughts that I would stab him.I would burst into tears cause i loved him why would i have these thoughts? I was afraid to hold a knife. I know it sounds awful to someone who doesn’t have intrusive ocd thoughts. But the key is know they are only thoughts. They wont happen. I have found that my ocd is always there but I can call it know for what it is. I also will use humor. When a sick image comes up no mater how awful, perverted dark and distorted i just look at it and even try to make a comedy out of it. Wow my ocd is really creative today. It sort of takes that fear away. But it takes practice.
Not sure if you have seen the secret? I really liked that movie.
also meditation. If you can find someone to teach you? or a local place to learn?
ekart tolle the power of Now also a great read: )

Hi Libby,

I pray you find resolution soon!

Please watch this one song by Meredith Andrews called ‘You’re Not Alone’ – if not anything else, it will give you peace. Here is the youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FXLo3aCkuQ

GOD Bless !

http://youtu.be/8FXLo3aCkuQ