As someone who has had her share of flunking, near flunking in math for years altogether while wondering what i could do to improve, i can understand your state of mind. However, i will add this – my major math turnaround happened in high school when i worked like a maniac for 2 months to get my practice level up to that level – of course, it took me another 2 years to get perfect but i definitely was nowhere near flunking when i consciously decided to “up” my game.

The thing that went wrong in between was this tutor who managed to (despite his good intentions) instill an obsession in me to score the perfect grade in my semesters. Now that never happened and no matter how much i improved, i was too obsessed with getting that perfect grade – just was never happy. of course, my motive was very different – i wanted to go study economics in college and throughout my life, literature was something i found much easier as compared to math. But i had no special craze for literature the way i did for economics – so being good at math was like a synonym for me to good at economics…

anywho, on the day of the final exam, i got so nervous that i actually blanked out on the last question of 5 marks – scored a meagre 92 which deeply disappointed me for i had worked really hard to improve in the last 2 years. the tutor was well…i realized a nutcase -_-

Now off to college, the math phobia continued – why? Because i believed i was no good at it, i just didnt have the brains for it and i was so anxious about my supposed weaknesses, that i just stopped doing the main thing i enjoyed – learning. A year passed and i flunked almost every math paper in college. I would go blank with anxiety, my body would shake like crazy and damn, it was just horrible to say the least.

Finally in second year, i came to my senses and decided that i really had to change my approach – i was putting way too much pressure on myself. I need to believe i am good at math. So i started reading about how to cope with math anxiety – a huge part of it was psychological – i believed i was way too dumb and being good at math would make me worthwhile at economics. The other reason was i had been a almost flunkie student most of my life and math was that obsessive need to feel like i was definetly good at something. The second was how i handled the stress – pretty poorly. I concluded i needed to give more time to practice, discussing the important questions much before the exam and actually on the day before the exam, to just relax – watch tv, maybe at best look at a small one page list of formula i prepared. otherwise on the day before, just go play, watch a movie and have some fun or atleast watch tv…preferably have a nice workout to plonk off to sleep probably.

The last step was handling the stress when i saw students like me before the exam with their books, discussing away…somehow that always made me anxious..so i decided that i would come deliberately a bit late into the premises where i could see them. Maybe roam around somewhere a little farther out of sight.

Now while giving the stress, if anxiety starts building up, drop your pen and stop doing everything – tell yourself this “its just an exam and not the end of life. i am gonna be fine” – take 2-3 deep breaths, sip some water, wipe your face if needed and then another dose of breath – continue. Try to take a seat towards the front so that you wont be disturbed by people trying to cheat -_- Overall, its not that hard and i can tell you that anyone can improve at math but if we label ourselves as implicitly stupid at it and believe we just cant, it will never happen.

Nonetheless, you gotta study smarter, plan better and stop making this bigger than it really is. You’ll be fine. Just practice hard and dont take so much tension about it. You can check out lot of resources on math anxiety. I am sure those will help too.

As for what astro lady said, well my school psychologist told me that i should take economics because i wasnt good at math – i looked at her for 4 seconds and thought “what the hell do you know about me? i know myself way better and i can improve at this” – 4 years since that statement, i have absolutely no regrets on that decision to push ahead despite her opinions. My point is, the more you believe in what other people say without taking into consideration your needs, the more it will aid you in labeling yourself. I made that mistake with that tutor and it cost a great deal of peace but it was my choice. I choose to believe now that i am absolutely capable of handling whatever comes to me and I dont absolutely dont believe in the stars as much as i believe in hard work and persistence. The stars will shine after that long, sunny humid day of toiling.

– Moon