Thanks everyone.

Hi Big Blue

I had to think for a wee bit so that I could articulate my thoughts here. I am not a fine writer like others 🙂

Grew up with heaps of universal values like most of us do in a happy family and surroundings. All good up to a stage in life, whereby I realised that if I wasn’t too careful about their use in my life, I was actually strangling my relationships with an invisible rope knowingly or unknowingly.

Who has created all these values or traditions or cultures ? Humans, right ? Human change so do values change (in my opinion) depending on their phase of life. Some change with life experiences and others change with wisdom.

At the core of each being (perhaps at a soul level), there are values, which define and connect each of us – unconditional love, purity, peace, acceptance, forgiveness. Each religion defines these values in their own way. We often see these qualities in a very young child and they get eroded bit by bit with environmental conditioning as we age.

Can you be attracted to an individual with a different set of values ? For me the answer is: Absolutely as at the core level, the values remain the same. Environmental conditioning may have changed our values on the superficial level but when we hit crisis, we see the core values immerge quite distinctively.

I have evolved a lot myself in a short span of time and so have my relationships. Superficial values do not define them anymore as I am happy to accept the other person for who they are. If they are not willing to accept the same, that is ok by me and I move on. If they are, we have a decent time. I don’t hang on to them tightly anymore or analyse them to the 10th degree as I used to. Everyone evolves in this world and with that comes an acceptance for everyone and everything (of course, with the right guidance).

I don’t have a vision of where I want to be or with who and I am not even sure if me and my husband share the same vision as we are 2 different people and we even differ at our basic needs (need for kids vs nil). What we do share is quality time together with an open communication – this has been the rule from day 1 even when we started dating more than a decade ago. He helps me grow and I do the same. We leave the ego out of our marriage most of the time. Did I attract a similar kind innately ? Perhaps, I did. I do believe strongly now that all our relationships and people who come into our lives have been pre-determined (even before we took birth). And the more I understand this, the less values or traditions or cultures mean to me.

My bigger question (if you believe in this aspect of our existence): Why have I chosen to have these particular people come into my lives and not the other 6 billion or so on this planet ? There has to be some big reason for that. And for me, I have found that it is to do with giving love. They have come into my life to receive love without any expectations for in return. And this is what I am living by currently. When someone tries to make my existence difficult, I give them even more love 🙂 as I feel that we have some unfinished business from somewhere long back LOL. And there are only 2 outcomes of this issue: they either love me back or disappear out of my life for good. Both works beautifully well.

Does this make sense ?

Jasmine