Thanks @talkingwithtinybuddah and @emmanueller21.

Hi, @theruminant. I’m sorry you feel this way but that is simply not the intention of any of the posters on here. You say posting pre-made lists is negligent of someone’s feelings but, at least in my case, this was a list I forged in tears and embitterment and later refined in the light of rationality. It is not clinical. It is not ego-centric. It is not malign.

What I talk a lot about on this forum is assumptions and expectations and how, when ill-conceived, they make a mockery of relational integrity. Just like this, I don’t see how your assumptive reprimand is beneficial at all; especially given the engaged and very much positive responses proffered by other members of the community. No one’s suffering is greater than another’s, in fact much of the posts on here are borne of residual hurt at the very least. As for the format of list-making – it’s easier and simpler to digest! That doesn’t mean it’s any less meaningful. Again, this is the relationship forum, so lists and helpful, insightful exposition by experienced sufferers is the meat and potatoes of such a website. Yes, there are tonnes of articles already covering such stuff but none should be deemed redundant because everyone’s experience is circumstantial and subject to absolute nuance. That’s why we keep posting and that’s why this topic exists.

As for posting rather than ‘contributing’, I will accept that is one of my weaknesses in this community. I love posting new topics that concern me first and foremost. Realising this about two days ago, I began logging on and simply posting. Oftentimes I’ll just grab the first four topics, read the entire set of posts, and then add my own. Other times I’ll search out topics that interest me. Do I have extensive experience on every topic? No. Do I have anecdotal evidence to back up my advice? No. Am I contributing to a community that offers “people in desperate situations […] human connection, sympathy and understanding”? Most definitely.