Geek,

In addition to the other kindly words, consider that sometimes we over emphasize the importance of thoughts, and rest in a sort of “mind maze” of “who am i”, “what am I”. So we scramble for definitions that fit, trying to figure out some kind of self definition, answer to “who”. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

Consider that this relationship you have to emotions is perhaps the same relationship you have to your body. When our attention is pulled up into our head, we become unbalanced, top heavy. Too much questing, seeking, considering, questioning… too many thoughts zipping around. This clouds our ability to attend our body, feel feelings. Said differently, you say you have a difficult time feeling emotions,but do you take the time to try? How much effort have you put into growing your self love? Is it something you just expect to have? How would it get there?

To grow a more tender relationship with your body, consider spending more time self nurturing. Specifically, consider starting a meditation practice. If we take the time to unwind, set down our thoughts, rest comfortably and peacefully in the present moment, it is much easier to get in touch with our feelings.

Of course, there is always the potential you have some atypical brain conditions. Sure. Perhaps pursue that beyond a wiki page, see a doctor. I’d hesitate before simply accepting that though… from your post, it could very well just be “racing mind”. Such as, so many clouds, thoughts, you can’t see the sky, feel the love. Perhaps try a metta meditation practice. Metta is the feeling of warm friendliness that grows in our chest area, and is like an antidote for racing mind. Consider “Ajahn Brahm guided metta meditation” on YouTube, if interested. If it doesn’t strike you, consider instead “Bhante Gunaratana guided metta meditation” on YouTube. Bhante G has a gentle and profound way of reaching analytical minds. He just lays it out there for us, what a champ!

Geek, I hope you consider taking a stand against this pattern that troubles you, and do not just give up with a diagnosis, call your brain such and such a way. I’m not convinced of that yet, are you? Its not uncommon for too much head, not enough heart to result in the confusion you’re experiencing. Perhaps try setting down the afflictions, and try to grow a loving space. If you give it some elbow grease, anything could happen!

Namaste, friend, may your attentions flow downward.

With warmth,
Matt