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tough decision

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  • July 9, 2014 at 6:32 am #60464
    andy
    Participant

    Hello friends,this is my first post in this forum and I need your help,I’ll describe my situation:

    One year ago I became friend of one student(I teach private classes),I’m gay and he is straight,and that time his girlfriend was in the us,he started coming to my house,but only as a friend,but I fell in love with him but I didn’t tell him,some months after his girlfriend returned from the us ,and he found out she was cheating on him,then they broke up,some months has passed and we became close friends,and now I found out he is with her again,and as he knew I didn’t approve his relation,he started tell me lies,and I found out,we have a friend in common and I asked him to explain the real reason I decided finishing our friendship,of course he got surprised but he understood,I think,but after that he simply disapeared,I know i have to talk to him in person,face to face.What can I do? cause it’s so sad you see someone you like being cheated and even worse accepting the situation,she controls him. thanks for your help.

    July 10, 2014 at 8:54 pm #60608
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    @andyyy45

    Hi Andy

    Welcome to TB.

    I am sorry that you find yourself in this state. Hey, we cant take ownership for someone else’s life or their decisions or their miseries. Our life is ours to live and others is for them to live.

    You can be there as a friend and provide moral support as and when required without any expectations.

    The reason you are feeling this way is probably because you are emotionally invested with this person. If something similar was happening to a stranger, would you have cared ? I suspect your answer will be a NO. Try and detach yourself from the emotions and be there unconditionally for a friend. Unconditionally means without conditions. You are accepting the other person for who they are with their flaws and strengths. And the only way we can do this is when we are able to accept ourselves the way we are 🙂 everyone is awesome as they are and everyone has their own lessons to learn. You cant hurry someone through life’s school lol.

    Stop stressing and go and enjoy your life. You have no control over anything in this world (as yet, anyways) except for your reactions, emotions, feelings and actions. Rest is out of bounds luckily 🙂 for everyone’s well-being.

    Loads of positive energy coming your way,

    Jasmine

    July 11, 2014 at 4:25 am #60619
    andy
    Participant

    Thank you so much Jasmine for these beautiful words,I totally agree with you,but the problem is that I fell in love with him,I know it’s impossible we have a relationship,and I will have to accept that.But your advice brought me peace to my mind,thank you again. God bless you.

    July 11, 2014 at 9:35 pm #60660
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    No worries Andy. I understand and acknowledge that you are in love with this guy but if the love is one sided, it doesn’t bring as much joy into life as you would like it to.

    I am sure if you keep marching ahead with your head held high up, you will find someone who appreciates Andy for who he is 🙂 and life will be even more awesome then.

    Best wishes,

    Jasmine

    July 12, 2014 at 4:27 am #60671
    andy
    Participant

    That’s what I have to do,go on with my life.and once again thank you for your support.God bless you

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