I’ve not had any problems enforcing boundaries when it comes to a diet. If I am on a strict diet and I’m dedicated to it, nobody can change my mind about what I’m eating, and my “no” will come out with such conviction that there is no discussion after that. The same goes with other times when I appear to be very confident and firm about my stance, and I’m very matter-of-fact about it.

The problems start when the “no” comes out in a more hesitant manner or I’m not saying it directly enough. That is an invitation to a negotiation. Which reminds me, that recently there were these Tweets about how difficult it is to be a woman and one of them was about being disrespected and not taken seriously when you say “no” to a man’s advances. I think that it’s not so much a specific situation, but a global phenomenon. Women don’t take no for an answer either when they want something and can completely ignore your pleas to stop.

I have one friend who was constantly walking all over me, and no amount of requests to stop made any difference. So she is no longer in my life. I’m pretty sure that if I would contact her and tell her why I don’t want her in my life, she would say “why didn’t you tell me? I promise never to do that again” and then she’d go back to her old ways. She wanted me to be a godmother to her child and I said “no” in various ways, giving various reasons. She tried to refute my reasons, but I knew that the moment she gets what she wants, all the promises would be forgotten and I’d be exactly in the situation where I was afraid I’d be. I think these are the hardest situations for me: knowing where things are going to lead, but you can’t really prove it. Yet the gut feeling is pretty much always right…

…and to be honest, I know I have disrespected other people’s boundaries as well. I’m no saint and still am trying to figure out how to live a more harmonious life with others.