Oh darling, nothing is wrong. You could just do with being a little more anchored to yourself and your own desires. Trust yourself. You know you.

Just so you know where I’m standing: I’m definitely one of those adventurous types. I’ve had a threesome in the last week. I know what swingers clubs look like on the inside. I have more sex toys than DVDs.

And I think you’re just fine doing ‘traditional’ things with your boyfriend. In fact, I think that’s lovely. If you feel satisfied, and you feel like you don’t need anything else, then you’re in the right place. ‘Adventurous’ sex is great for those who enjoy it. If that’s not what you enjoy though, it’s horrible.

Next time you hear a “Everyone should try this!” translate it into what it really means: “I am really enjoying myself and expressing my enthusiasm!” It doesn’t mean you‘ll enjoy it, because you are not them. People vary. And that’s good. You know in your heart what you love to do, and what’s not for you. So remind yourself of that, and wish others well in whatever things they enjoy doing.

I think there are some ‘adventurers’ who are over-enthusiastic and kind of try to drag other people along in their adventures. It’s usually because they feel a little uncomfortable and conflicted about the crazy sex stuff they’re doing. If they can get others to join them, they don’t have to feel so insecure. If that’s one of your friends, maybe it can help to make really clear you’re OK with what they’re doing, you just don’t think you’ll enjoy it yourself: “You had fun at the swinger’s club? That’s awesome. I’m so happy for you. I know I couldn’t enjoy that, but I’m glad that you’re doing things that you enjoy and that are right for you. Go you, you sexy thing. So, are you coming over for the barbeque on Saturday?”

As for the media: they’re just trying to sell you stuff. You don’t need it, just let it go.