Hi Purpose,

I have some experience in this situation. A woman was overly caring and helpful to me, but said she was not up for a relationship. This was really frustrating.

You were overly caring and helpful to this guy. He got interested in you. Saying no follow this boundary at that point could feel like a mixed message to him. It could be frustrating or worse as happened. I’m not justifying or agreeing with what he did, but it’s not a surprise.

Matt and Jasmine offer solid advice and questions. Again looking at my shoes, I can be a fixer ala codependent sometimes. In this situation I am really helping myself a lot while also helping someone else. What is my core motive?

Big blue

PS: We certainly are complex creatures….