@Jasmine: “not at the expense of your own happiness. Walk away when it starts to pull you down instead of lifting you.” Those are key words in my opinion. I’m gonna keep them in mind as I consider the whole situation.

@Matt: It’s interesting to know you consider your wife was similar in some way.
I don’t know if I seem like I don’t believe it but of course she makes sense, the way she is, it’s utterly logical. It’s hard for me to picture I don’t accept her as she is. I accept myself as I am and still think I can improve, still have choices from my past I’m not proud of. I mean, I accept myself but still realize there’s room to grow, there always is, for everyone. I don’t see how I look at her differently than that.

I got in contact and apologized for my approach. I recognized my life lessons are just words for her, and don’t have to be useful for her. I explained my intentions had always been positive, I just wanted to support her. Not once in her reply did she acknowledge my explanations. She chose to state she’s upset and will continue to be. Clearly, she believes I’m just attacking her, noting how wrong everything about her is. I said “I’m not trying to change you, you don’t need to.” But she conveniently ignores where I’m coming from to keep on with the negative.

It saddens me but it’s really hard for me to picture a bright future here. If we have such different outlooks, if we have no common ground, how can there be a true relationship then? Keeping with Jasmine’s words, if this drains me more than it fulfills me I guess we should go our separate ways.

Lurker.