I think any time you feel neglected, unheard, undervalued, or that your voice doesn’t get a chance to be heard you are being manipulated or mistreated. If dealing with this person makes you feel drained, exhausted, and hurt- it isn’t a healthy relationship. Now, that being said- what about- no one can MAKE you feel anything without your permission (I’ve thought about this long and hard about my relationship, but I’ve found that I ended up making myself feel guilty, unlovable, rejected because of their actions, of course, the most confident of people would feel that way if subjected to someone who again and again disappoints us) what about-if you are a centered, well adjusted happy person- no one can make you unhappy- that’s bs! I am a very optimistic cheerful person by nature. I love everyone and everything and I have given more years than I care to admit trying to make my marriage work while being emotionally abandoned and ignored. Every time I have to make a decision or get something done or have a discussion with my spouse that involves him helping me, supporting me, listening to me, “getting me” or getting on board with me- I am met with resistance, avoidance, stonewalling, interruptions, and the conversation is twisted around such that basically I am told that I am unreasonable, have expectations that can’t be met, am not realistic, am too needy, etc. If trying to communicate with someone makes you feel like you’re banging your head against a wall, they are trying to get their way and twist things around to fit their comfort zone. My husband isn’t a bad guy. He just doesn’t know how. We’ve been through therapy and all kinds of crap and he still doesn’t get it. It’s not about taking me out to eat, or physically being in the house, or taking about the garbage, it’s deeper meaningful connections that matter. It’s a selflessness in a relationship, it’s trying to make someone’s life easier and better not harder. These people are exhausting and it isn’t their fault, but they won’t change if you keep playing your part in the dance and put up with it. You have a right to be heard, to have what you want from life, to make your own decisions, to feel loved, to be taken care of, to feel worthy and wanted and needed.