Thank you Gabi, your words are so true and whilst you may sound harsh in some sentences, you are SO right!! The safe harbour and Plan B was such a good comment; the sensible side of me thinks this too. I am not a stupid person and I know right from wrong and should the situation be with one of my friends, I would be aghast at them allowing it to happen. I really can’t explain why I feel this way and you are right when you say I need to make more effort. I keep thinking what I will feel like in 2-3 years time when I look back on this and I know I will cringe at my weakness.
elephantgirl, I am very happy to motivate you during this time and maybe we share the same emotions and feelings so have things in common.