My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. Everything has been wonderful and it’s been the happiest time of my life (my first love). He is several years older than me. Age doesn’t matter to either of us.

Recently, he says I “blew him off” last weekend because I was super busy and didn’t tell him that I couldn’t come over to his place. We usually hang out on weekends. Instead of immediately reacting on my initial feeling of anger, I talked to my counselor about it and she says that I should have told him because it was just the courteous thing to do. I agreed with her. I called him and apologized. He was happy with it and accepted it.

However, it’s been a few days since then, and every time we talk, I feel a distance between us. He cancelled our date this weekend because he says it doesn’t feel right. And especially if we would end up messing around later, he said he didn’t think that would be right either. He says he still thinks we’ll work things out and truly appreciates my apology, but he says he doesn’t understand why he’s feeling angry still. We both agree that it takes time and I said I’m here to support him. He also said that he’s never had a girl call him to stand up and do the right thing and apologize like I have. He knows this is my first relationship and said that I have always been doing an amazing job with ours. He’s very proud with me and I really do trust that he values me.

Today, I messaged him once casually asking how his day was going. He ignored it. I called him and he purposely ignored it, because it didn’t ring too long before it went to his voicemail.

When we’ve been on the phone the past few days, things seem fine, but a little bit distant. We have had an intensely strong connection from the first day we met and it’s never wavered. Now it feels like it has just a little bit and I’m very nervous.

He never mentioned a break up or anything like that… but we’re both worried about the distance issue. Why are we not feeling close to each other like we always have?

Is this a temporary, common issue that couples go through? Does it mean we deeply care for each other and don’t like our bad feelings even though they’re normal?

Our biggest issue has been worrying about what the other person is doing when we’re not together. I’ve had moments that I felt he was with someone else, and he had the same ideas about me. There is a lot of mistrust with that. Could that be poisonous to a relationship? I could very well see it being that way. I want to try my all to fix it and make it go away. How do we both see the FACTS in this situation? We’re both building stories in our heads and neither of us understand why. We have talked about it. Could it be we just care so much about each other? Or is it real mistrust?

Any answers and advice are so helpful.

Thank you, and take care.