Wow, where do I begin. I want to help so I’m going straight to your questions. You are obsessed with a married man. And yes, it is fair that you have to let go of the only bright light in your life because HE IS A MARRIED MAN.
Do you really think this guy wants your phone number showing up on his cell while he’s eating dinner with his wife?
There are a hundred single guys right this second that would love to spend time with you, but these guys see you drooling on a married guy. And women seem to have no earthly idea how big of a turn off that is to single men.
It is hard for you to let go because females are biologically wired to want other women’s men. You are just going to have to find a guy with a girlfriend instead of a wife.