Hello Kenneth,
It saddens me to hear that you are having so much depression and feeling so unworthy.
YOu dont say wether you are on any meds to help you feel better. Are you seeing anyone that can listen to you objectively?
A lot of people do not know their extended families that well, but they being your blood relatives would want to know how you are feeling.
What if the roles were reversed? You dont need to have any plans right now for your future, but what you need to do is to get yourself well and whole. Start with seeking some advice from a Dr. Have a physical to rule out anything and then see if you can have someone talk to you and listen to you. Starting on antidepressants might be helpful. There is nothing the matter with going on a medicine for this.
Please keep me posted.