Hi Kath,

I understand what you mean when you talk about soul mates. Two people meet and know they were always meant to be one for the other, from the start of time to the eternity. It is a sense of trust, peace and belonging. It is like the stars had always written their name in the sky. It is a link between hearts, you hold it dear, it keeps you warm. It also gives you the strength of thousand in a moment of distress. You trust the other to be there for you, and you want to help the other whenever the need arises. It is when two hearts beat in synchronization and play such a blissful tune that it seems they could have been always doing it if they met sooner and that they will always make it if they stay together.
However, every heart has its rhythm, for a brief time they may actually be in synchronization, then they may start to follow a different path, and the tune may not be that soothing anymore. Since you think that your boyfriend may be an emotional manipulator, couldn’t he force the beating of his heart to follow a rhythm just to resonate with yours, to craft that magic and to force you into the trap of believing that he was your soul mate? If he was really your soul mate wouldn’t your hearts still beat now together? Even in a moment of distress, he would not let his problems weight so heavily on you and he would acknowledge tenderly every effort you put into helping him. Is he ever there for you?

I’m sure you wanted him to be the one, but does he look like the one after much more time together? You want him to be different, he is not the man you want yet. I also understand that’s a great loss to give up on him after so much effort you put in the relationship, but I’m sure you understand that you don’t know what you have ahead of you and that’s very likely you will lose much more energy. You don’t have to be a saint or mother and should be free to pursue your happiness. But please, if you decide to leave him, know that your experiences are yours to take with you in the future. That connection you experienced is yours to recall, so that you know what tune two hearts should play together. The relationship itself is also a precious experience, because it may teach you that in order to be sure that one is your soul mate, your heart should beat as one a little longer than a magic moment. So congratulate with yourself and be proud, you did your best to help him, you did your best to make your bound last, but that’s something that requires two people, and you can’t do his part.

So, please, take heart and be proud.