Hi Dori,

You said…”maybe they made sense at that time but were wrong decisions, cause they were not compatible with my heart desires.”
This is a common feeling. “How could I have done that, when I really wanted to do such and such. I’ve sabotaged myself”
The reason for this supposed self-sabotage is …PRIORITIES.
I’m guessing you had a good reason to do the cookery course and a good reason not to. When we have competing beliefs like that, we draw on our “priorities” to adjudicate between them. Obviously, your priority was some sort of practical reason…which over ruled your heart.
So, you just have to accept that, all things taken into account…at the time…you decided against the course. Trust your past decision making. Since then, you have learnt more information which has indicated that the better way might have been to follow your heart. That’s great, you’ve learnt some more and gained some wisdom…but that makes the original decision no less authentic or valid.

As for changing beliefs. There’s no getting past its difficulty. But its a softly, softly process. Your brain needs to disconnect those old, strong connections that your current beliefs have created. It does this by slowly building up new connections…which have to battle against the stubborn old ones.

Let’s look at your belief that “‘I am not good at anything”.
If you reviewed that objectively and honestly, you’d agree that it’s an irrational and limiting belief.
If you agree, then the next step is to replace it with a new belief.
Perhaps it could be something like…”I am a real trier, and I sometimes achieve my goals, however, I still need to work on X”
For that belief to replace the old one, it has to be repeated over and over again. This is the way the brain grows new connections. Another way that the connection can be re-enforced is by “proof”. Every-time the belief is realised or acted out, the connections grow in the brain. Every time you hit a mark or achieve a goal…the new belief is re-enforced.

It’s very hard, but worthwhile, work. There is no easy way. But the rewards are enormous.