Hi David,

While reading your post, I got the impression your mind is not well set on the decision to let her go, although you’d like to move on in the most honorable way.

It is true. When you want something your mind easily believes excuses that may allow you to obtain it. However, nothing stops you from thinking about them at a second time in private and cleanse them of every desire. Then you may act upon them. Right now, you are not at ease because you know there may be explanations about her behavior. Of course you are not sure about whether to trust her or not, because of your past relationship. However, you cannot possibly exclude a valid explanation, or is the fact that she met someone else really enough for you to close contact? Moreover, consider that she is a new person, you should not project into her the needs and wants of another person that is not related to her. It is true, she may want to boost her self esteem, but do you think she wants only that, don’t you think she may want you to feel good as well? Don’t you think you may actually feel both good if you parted nicely? Really, you are going to think about this for a long time, I suppose it’s a good thing to hear her, then think in private and think whether you want to believe her or not. If you fear you may act in a silly way, just recall to not make promises or declare intentions, just talk about what happened and how you both felt and take your time in private later.

Moreover, you say you do not feel handsome/lovable/interesting enough. What’s enough? Really your bound was not that strong and she moved far away. It was easy for her to not think about you. Moreover, I’m sure other boys started talking with her, they were actually closer. However, you do not know what went through her mind. Was that boy just a friend? If he wasn’t just a friend, don’t you think that the mere fact you were far away made you less interesting indeed? Do not take it as a fault within yourself, it was an unfortunate combination of events.

Anyway that’s the point. What do you think, was your bound so strong that she did not have to give a chance to that man? (Consider your inner feelings and/or the statistics of the people around you) What would you have done in the same situation if a girl came to you instead while she was away? If the bound was enough strong, do you want a girl that do not know how to behave when you are far away? If the answer to the third question is no, how can she prove you she will not do the same one day when your bound is stronger? More importantly, are you ready to wait that much time to let her regain your trust or is it better to look for a new potentially more reliable person? These are the question you should aim to answer when you talk with her. Just one suggestion, take your time, but not too much time.

One more thing, you should not be worried about whether a person wants to boost her self esteem or not. We all do something because it makes us feel better somehow. That’s a good thing that a person feels good when she is with you, so please feel proud of that, you made a girl feel great and that makes you handsome/lovable/interesting. I understand you did not feel your needs met when she left you, but I suppose that it was something nor she nor you could anticipate for the future, that her feelings would change. Now you know that you need a more reliable person, someone who does not want to feel great only one day with you, but wants to follow a more stable path. So, please focus on your needs, look at what you want and whether it is satisfied now and whether it will be satisfied in the future. As long as your partner looks reliable, do not mind whether that boost her self esteem, that’s exactly a good thing and one healthy reason we are in a relationship for.