Thank you Snails for your honest response and your support.

You’re right on all accounts. Yes, there is an area in my life that is unsatisfactory. Namely, my job. I find it boring and unsatisfying and I have to muster a lot of energy to do the little work that I do. I used to enjoy the job and thrive in it, but now that spark is gone. I’m looking for ways to rekindle that spark and work hard at being present and of service to my colleagues and clients. The organization is very supportive, I get paid very well, the people are really nice, and the work itself is a noble service. And yet, I find myself very dissatisfied. Is this just a temporary lull? Would I fare better in a different organization or a different career? I’m not sure. The phrase, “The grass is not greener on the other side” keeps coming to mind. I do however have a variety of interests and activities outside of work which keep me engaged and help with my personal growth.

I did come out of a long term relationship about 4 months ago. It was very difficult, but I’m in a much better place than before. I feel like I’m ready to date again, but I don’t want to jump into anything serious too fast. Hence, I’m primarily driven by the desire for physical affection at this moment. It’s a somewhat uncomfortable place because, as I mentioned, I’ve never been that kind of person before. But I would never lie or manipulate to get what I need. I would never pretend I’m something that I’m not. And I don’t drink alcohol precisely because I know how it may impair my judgement. I don’t want to be a player, just direct and honest about what I need. Perhaps I just need to give myself permission to satisfy that need – while ensuring I’m safe and respectful of others.

Thank you for advice and guidance. I’m truly grateful.

Namaste