Hi, it’s like my husband has two sides.

He is very jealous, he always ask where I look and gets angry if he think I flirt with somebody who i haven’t even noticed myself, lately he even to begin to get angry about me shaking a Mans hand and when i stayed with his family he would ask them if i left the room when a man Came to visit! He wants me to ask when I go out, sometimes he even looked the door, and one time when I went out he even followed me to see if i did something. He always ask if i had anybody before i met him, i was very Young when we met, we have been together a long time, and no matter what i say it makes him more angry and call me a liar, and threathens me with hitting me and if i try to get away from this, say something or moving myself from him first few times this happend, he gets even more angry and if i dont listen to him he would threathen me more and if i walk he would push me back. He has hit me, mostly just slapping me, more serious with a belt one time on my arm, hard enough to leave it with red stripes for a day, because i didnt stand and cook for his family and another time where he started to hit on my knees, not really, but hard enough to give me a bruise. Also he one time looked my underwear to see if i had done something with his brother. I dont know, he just gets worse and worse, and he has never been so awful like this before. When he is like this nothing get through to him, and i feel like i am looking into dead eyes.

Where he is from and in his family many of these things are considered normal, fx. His brother all the time threathen his wife with hitting if her cooking is not good, she cant find his clothes and his brother all the time leave his wife alone, only come to eat and sleep. It’s normally to ask your husband before you go out, normally not to Shake a Mans hand and normal to hit children and women. Some in his family is even worse, one womans husband would hit her in the street and nobody would really care. It’s also normally to go past a house, hearing hitting and a womans scream, again nobody really cares, they think, it’s none of their buisness.

I feel like a crazy person when i write this for all the bad he had done should maybe be enough for me to realize this is no good. And i told him this, i told him i can not stay with him, he really crossed the line, i told him it’s over. It breaks my heart first of all it was really hard to do, i love him, we have a lot history together and i have never seen him this sad, he has been crying for days, he looks not good and i have never seen him crying in public before, he begin to see a therapist, and he keep Saying how sorry he is, that he wants to change, that he feel so guilty and he doesnt understand why he did it and that he will do anything. I also really miss him, i dont want to start all over again with somebody other we have so much together before and my love language is psysical touch and i really feel that we still have that after so many Years.

And then I remember cuddling up with him every night, sleeping in his arms every night, him so excited when he gives me a gift, him cooking for me and doing everything for me wether it was my hair or whatever, him writing me poems and sending a sweet text everyday, him being so open about everything about me always faithful, him so worries when i am sick and Taking so good care, him bringing me food or a snack for the evening that he knows that i love, him bringing me roses, him crying when he misses me, and so.

I know the minusses is really big, the therapist think that he can change? Really i dont wanna take any chances, it’s just hard to be strong when i miss him and see him so sad. I dont live with him now because of this. Dont wanna take chances, i dont wanna set my life on hold in not knowing and see how things go, i need to know. I dont know any more.

I am pregnant, my biggest motivation for leaving him was that i want my children to grow up in a safe, loving envoirement, that is my biggest motivation and the only thing that make it possible for me to find the strength right now because i really feel awful. He wasnt so bad when i first get pregnant, it escalated, he was so happy when he first knew. Could he possible change? Or do you think the risk is too big when i have a baby to think about? I feel like he loves me and feel awful, but i dont know if we cant be together and be happy and my safe being. I feel so stupid for thinking this when you all can see what he did to me, i just cant forget the good times, his tears, begging and promises that i am right, he will never hit me or the children and he sees it is wrong and he did bad, and he also was hitted so much when Young, he was and kinda abandoned, and him starting with therapy when i told him i will leave. Sorry if my post is a little messy, i am just so confused about what i should do.