So this might sound harsh, but why would you want to be with someone who:
1. Does not honor who you are
2. Does not honor your lifelong attempts at meaningful change and growth
3. Wants you to be a different person than you are, or else he is angry

You deserve to be with someone who accepts that you are a flawed, beautiful human being with issues. Just like him, and that your issues are your own (some are hard-wired and genetically given, some are of our own making) and that he has issues too but that one of the best parts of being in a marriage/relationship is that you can BE YOURSELF and the other person loves who you ACTUALLY ARE, not loves you for who they think you ought to be.