I would like to offer another point of view. It sounds like part of you wants to go because you’re looking forward to the possibility of having fun, being surrounded by people who care about you (example: your two best friends), and maybe even meeting new people. It’s great that you’ve worked hard on yourself and made progress in the self-love department.

You say you’re afraid to go because “I think he’ll be there with a new girlfriend, and he’ll still see me as that awful, cringing stereotype of a crazy ex-girlfriend.” Deep down, you know that’s not who you are. The fact that you can recognize the behavior you exhibited is not acceptable to you speaks a lot about the type of person you are. You aren’t “a crazy ex-girlfriend.” You’re a human-being who makes mistakes and learns and grows from them. I truly believe you’ve learned and grown from the experience.

In my opinion, if fear is holding you back from going to a party that you really want to go to, I say go. Enjoy yourself, be polite, be respectful, and don’t worry about what he thinks. What matters is what you think of yourself and all of the hard work you’ve done to heal and become a great, enlightened person!