Hey Steve!

I think Adam said it pretty well. From what you’ve said, I’m sure you’re not looking for a hook up or someone to make you feel good about yourself – but I do wonder if you are looking for a woman to make you feel whole. Like you can’t really be happy until you find that woman. You are not a wallowing wimp – you are a dad who cares about his kids. Believe me, I know how frustrating it is to KNOW what a good person you are and want to share that with someone and have it reciprocated!! But I think the lesson right now is in being able to accept a little rejection and just knowing that those women are not the one for you. It seems the dating site is creating more negative feelings in you than positive – I think it’s probably a good step to get out of it for a little while. Do you need to wait till your subscription is up? I know it feels like you’re wasting money, but is that money worth the frustration, second guessing and growing feelings of inferiority the site is stirring up in you? When I deactivated my profile, I still had most of the month left. But I decided I was just going to have to eat it. And for me right now, it was one of the best things I’ve done for myself this month. Just focusing on myself….not what other people think of me, not whether so and so likes me….not worrying if I’m only attracted to guys that are “out of my league”…ugh. Glad to be off of it. That doesn’t mean at some point in the future I won’t get back on, but hopefully it will be at a time when some rejection won’t make me question MYSELF.

You feel like you won’t have a relationship or a special connection to someone again. Steve, I totally get this feeling. I have it a lot. But it is all ANXIETY. Not real. None of us have any idea what is just around the corner. Wouldn’t you rather be happy either way – regardless of how long it takes you to meet your special person? And I know you’re just not feeling it right now. Take small steps. Gratitude journals are kind of a trend right now, but I think it’s really worth a shot – it kind of retrains your brain to find the positive things in your life, no matter how small. Do you take a multi-vitamin? Sounds kind of lame, but I found one for women that I swear helps me feel better (more energy, less moody) – they make one for men as well (http://www.amazon.com/Super-Nutrition-Simply-One-Men/dp/B00028NDLI). I also found this magnesium supplement (http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Calm-Raspberry-Lemon/dp/B00BPUY3W0/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1419257101&sr=1-1&keywords=natural+calm) that definitely helps me when I’m stressing/just not feeling right, etc. Also making sure I drink lots of water and eat a mostly whole foods, plant based diet. Sorry if this sounds preachy or off topic, it’s just things I know make me feel good – regardless of what kind of shit is going on in my life. Focus on taking care of yourself.