Banu, Well…after a couple of weeks of hiatus with sporadic texts and missed communication every other day or so.. (and really about a month of this)…I went back and forth on “do I just end it or do I talk to him..”

I like the guy – He has the makings of someone I would consider getting to know better and see what happens.The thought of talking to him…terrified me. There is nothing more I dislike than being the needy girl, something I take pride in never being.

Self love has always been a conundrum for me bc I am a successful, confident, strong, outgoing woman, get a great deal of male attention… I take great care of myself, in all areas of my life…so this “self love” thing really had me spinning…But I knew there was something there…

I took your advice – and dug deeper. My last relationship ended bc I walked off causing a ton of chaos by ending it without talking to him about what was bothering him. not that my ex didn’t have an equal part to it ending…he didn’t handle it well either. But I was unable to express like a grown woman how I felt without feeling 1) Needy, 2) High Maintenance or 3) yucky for having to “ask” – when I feel they should know what I need. So I dumped the guy…after a year and a half of never having one argument,,,before telling him how I felt…and this opened up a whole can of worms…(again, he had an equal part to the dissolution).

After a lot of praying…the words finally came to me. I sent him a text telling him exactly how I felt. In a very polite, but firm, non accusatory way…. Knowing this may be the end, but ready to end it either way. Knowing i could not go into the new year feeling like this anymore.

And the response I got? I never would have expected. He called about half an hour later and we opened up and talked. He had no idea I was feeling this way. And he was concerned, and wanted to know how long I’ve felt this way and what he needed to do to fix it. I was so shocked. I had not expected this response at all. I didn’t tell him what he needed to do, he came up with some great solutions on his own 🙂 Because I believe in saying how you feel, but I am a firm believer of letting the person be who they are…not dishing out a list of instructions.

Banu, I cannot tell you how good this feels! This has been a problem I have carried a long time.

I feel liberated.

What happens now? I don’t know what’s in the cards for us. I have no problems living in mystery as long as it feels good I feel my needs are getting met, and I feel like I am growing.

I am in Grace.

Happy New Year Banu !