Hi, mattr. I’m really sorry you’re hurting like this, and I’m glad you have a supportive partner who wants to help. I think you answered your own question, though. You have PTSD. There’s no “letting go of the past” when you have a psychological illness. You can’t “let go” of an infection or a broken leg. I had PTSD symptoms from a breakup 2 years ago that are just now starting to clear up. For me personally, I just had to get through it. There was no way around it, I had to keep going to therapy, taking my medications, learning positive thinking patterns again, resting when I was tired, and just not giving up. I’m sure others will weight in with their own thoughts but my advice is just to keep going. See a therapist if that helps. I journaled a lot, focused on self care, and worked through things as they came up. If you do get triggered, ride it out, then when you come down, try to see what happened and why. I wish I had better advice, a way to faster results, but in my limited experience, it’s just time and effort. It sounds like you do trust your wife as much as you are able to, and that’s not a small thing. I still have trouble trusting people or letting anyone get close to me at all, so I think you’re doing well. I know it hurts though, and I’m hoping the best for you.