I wanted to add something re to FB. There is not a compromise setting in how the security features work that would satisfy you both is there?

Assuming there is not, I would say that if you can identify some of the other most pervasive triggers going on and get a hold on them in some controllable way that the rest may follow and become lessened as a result. I think once you feel overall more safe that it will dial down the intensity on your FB trigger.