I am so sorry to hear that you went through such a difficult time. I think emotional abuse happens more often than people like to admit. I went through something similar, and there are so many mixed emotions, and it takes awhile to untangle yourself from the deception. My advice would be to just not rush it, you know? It takes awhile to extricate yourself from something like that, and become a pure ‘you’ again. But it’s great that you realize what’s been going on. That’s huge. And everytime you get upset about the past, that’s what you should think about. As far as books, I too am a yogi, and so the Gita for me was a godsend. The one translated by Swami Sivinanda. Every morning I would meditate, do yoga, and read a chapter from the Gita. It was like a diet and it really saved me. Actually it was more like a cleanse. Clearing your mind is very patient work, but if you commit to it every day, it changes your whole life. Best of luck to you! Keep us updated on how you feel!